The Great Poké Bake Off
by mpspenguin
Summary: A parody of The Great British Bake Off in which twelve familiar faces from the world of Pokémon battle it out for the title, of ultimate baker. I don't know what possessed me to write this, but here you go.


**Author's note: Okay, so this is very different from my usual style, and I'm very wary of even posting it at all, so please don't judge me based on this! I don't even know what I was thinking. Anyway, it's a silly, humorous (I hope) parody of The Great British Bake off, which is, for those of you who don't know, a cooking contest thing in the UK. It's kinda a big deal in England. Anyway, enjoy, and DON'T JUDGE ME!**

* * *

Sue: Hello, and welcome to a brand new series that's a little different to what we usually do: The Great Poké Bake Off!

Mel: Yes, that's right- the show where twelve amateur contestants compete to win a... prize.

Dawn: *Narrows eyes* Yeah, what was the prize again?

Sue: *COUGHS LOUDLY* SO, MOVING ON, *Coughs* it's week one in the bake off tent, and we've got twelve people from many different regions competing for the title, of Ultimate Baker.

Mel: They'll be battling it out, baking things from pastries to poffins, in a test of skill, knowledge, and in Ash's case, luck.

Ash: HEY!

Sue: (Hastily) Without further ado, let's meet our contestants! First, we have Brock, who has had plenty of practice cooking whilst travelling. Brock, what kind of things do you usually bake?

Brock: Uh... *Scratches head* Sandwiches... And Pokemon food.

Sue: (Weakly) Right... Next is Christopher, an ex-Rocket who owns his own chain of noodle bars! Do you have much baking experience, Christopher?

Chistopher: Well, I've made noodles a lot. Does that count?

Mel: Not really.

Chistopher: Oh.

Sue: (Mumbling to self) Has anyone here actually baked _anything_ before? (To the camera) Tracey's next, an budding artist who helps Professor Oak with... stuff. How long have you been baking for, Tracey?

Tracey: I don't really bake, to be honest, but I DREW a cake once.

Sue: OKAY! GREAT! *Sighs* Well, good luck, anyway. Our next two contestants are Butch and Cassidy, of Team Rocket. Butch, why do you want to win?

Butch: Um, I don't, really. I hate baking, and think this whole show is stupid. I'm only here because the writer ran out of characters to use.

Mel: (To camera man) We can edit that out, right?

(Camera man mouths)

Mel: What do you mean, 'live'?

Sue: (Hurridly) CASSIDY, what about you?

Cassidy: To show Jessie up on TV.

Jessie: We'll see who shows who up, you ugly little bitc-

Sue: (Interupts) AAAANNNND, we've also got Jessie, James, Ash, Dawn, Mondo, Misty and Professor Oak.

Mel: Welcome, to The Great Poké Bake Off!

_*Cuts away to intro theme, and back to the bake off tent*_

_(Sue, Mel, Paul Hollywood, Mary Berry and the twelve contestants are inside the tent)_

Sue: For the first challenge, bakers, we'd like you to put a spin on a classic, intricate and time consuming dish: The Rice Krispie Treat. *_Looks directly at camera_* Other cereals are available.

Mel: It could be in the shape of a Snorlax, you could make a tower- heck, you could even use Bran Flakes if you want to be really wild. *_Looks at camera, smiling_* Bran Flakes- Kickstart your morning with a burst of fibrery goodness!

Sue: Save your advertising for later.

Mel: Sorry.

Sue: Anyway... Four hours on the clock to complete your signiture Rice Krispie Treats. On your marks...

Mel: Get set...

Mel & Sue: Bake!

(Voice over): The contestants will have to not only create something original, but perfect the delicate procedure of making the treats. This recipe in particular, is loathed among the most professional of bakers for its stress-inducing difficulty.

Mel: So, Professor, what are you going to be making today?

Professor Oak: (Pouring Rice Krispies into bowl) Well, I thought I'd take it a step further, and make circular treats, rather than the standard square ones.

Paul: Ohh! That's quite a lot of pressure to put on yourself for the first week!

Oak: Yes, I know.

Mary: Has this been successful at home?

Oak: (Stirring) More or less, but I usually have more time than we do today.

Paul: Hmm. Well, good luck, Professor.

Oak: (Nervously) Thanks.

Paul: (Steps away from Oak) I really think that timing will be an issue for a lot of our contestants. Four hours is not a lot, considering the complexity of a bake like this one.

Mary: Hmm. I just hope they've practised.

Paul: (Laughs) Me too!

Sue: What about you, Dawn? What are you making?

Dawn: (Looks up from bowl) Err, I'll be making the classic treats, only with white chocolate too.

Mel: I like that. That's really stepping away from the crowd early on in the contest.

Dawn: Yeah, I hope so. It'll either make it or break it.

Sue: Fingers crossed for make it!

Dawn: Thanks! (Goes back to pouring cereal)

(Paul paces around the tent, and stops by Ash)

Paul: Talk me through what you're doing.

Ash: (Frowning at cereal packet) I'm not really sure. I know how to melt the chocolate, but I don't know how to spread it on afterwards. Maybe I'll just dip it.

Paul: You could use a spatula.

Ash: What's that, some kind of Pokemon?

Paul (Facepalms) Never mind. Good luck.

(Camera cuts to other side of the tent)

Mary: Now, Christopher, you've had a lot of experience making noodles, is that right?

Christopher: (Melting chocolate) Yes.

Mary: Do you think this will give you an advantage in the contest?

Christopher: No.

Mary: Me neither. Good luck.

Sue: Butch, what's your plan?

Butch: Watch everyone else for a while and then copy them.

Sue: Like it. Very resourceful. And you, Cassidy?

Cassidy: Steal whatever Butch makes.

Butch: Wait, wha-

Mel: Well, see you later.

(_Cuts to Sue outside, walking along)_

Sue: Before we get onto our remaining bakers, we should delve into the deep history of the Rice Krispie Treat, and find out how, over the years, it has evolved.

(Cuts to Sue and Mel in a bakery)

Mel: Hello, Brian, is it?

Brian (Baker): Yes, hello. (Shakes Mel & Sue's hands)

Sue: Now, I've been told that you've been baking for over ten years. Is that right?

Brian: Yes, that is correct.

Mel: What can you tell us about the Rice Krispie Treat?

Brian: Well, it all began in the early 1700s, when the first Rice Krispie Treat was made by Doctor Jimothy. H. Now, this was back when Rice Krispie Treats were banned to the public, so they were only ever available on the black market, along with recreational drugs. Many people would travel miles at night and meet up in alleyways just to get a taste of these treats; not many bakers were skilled enough to make them, so they were something of a rarity. In 1927, however, Christopher Rindlisbacher came up with the concept of turning the Rice Krispie Treat into a cereal, which he was named Rice Krispies. They were marketed that year, and made available to the public in 1928. Some people can make them, some don't have the skills, but one thing's for certain... (takes bite out of treat and holds in up to the camera, chewing)... Everyone, can enjoy them.

Sue: What a heartwarming tale!

Brian: Indeed. Would you like to try your hand at making some?

Mel: Not really.

Brian: But-

*Cuts back to bake off tent*

Sue: It's over halfway through the first challenge, and things are already heating up for many of our contestants.

Mel: Yes- Will our bakers triumph, or snap, crackle and pop under the pressure?

Sue: That was awful.

Mel: Thanks. Find out soon.

* * *

**Okay... Thanks for reading, hope I haven't scared too many people away from my stories. I probably won't update this unless I get reviews telling me to.**


End file.
